29 Comments

I very much enjoy clusterfuddle (and it's spicier variant) and omnishambles - both are very evocative of the situations they describe. A friend and I take great pleasure in documenting and then trying to use in meetings the stupider 'corporate speak' phrases - "I'm going to cascade those learnings downstream" is a favourite and we are still working on "I have some ideas I'd like to stirfry in your think wok"....I really, really, really, loathe "reach out" instead of "contact", and "drop" as in "the new album dropped today" - I always want to ask if it broke when they dropped it. NZ has some good ones for identifying like minded individuals though, "Yeah, Nah", "Always blow on the pie" and "I don't want any of your ghost chips".

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Oh this is all so CHOICE. I haven't heard 'clusterfuddle' before, so good and all the crap speak is sooooooooo good. 'Think wok' is heaven. Please explain 'ghost chips'. I particularly hate the new term for Library: Learning Resource Centre. It makes me foam at the mouth in fury.

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Ghost chips comes from this actually quite good NZ stopping drunk driving ad: https://www.nzonscreen.com/title/legend-ghost-chips from about 10 years ago. And of course chips is said with that very distinct 'chups' accent. A certain age group of Kiwis will know what you are talking about. Agree on 'Learning Resource Centre', also 'Employee Success Team' for HR, which makes me want to vomit, and the firm over here that changed the 'Team retreats" to 'team advances' because they're not a firm that ever retreats....I could play this game forever :)

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So I'm guessing you've played wank word bingo in meetings?

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Ah yes, I worked for a few years in London at a law firm that was taken over (though they called it a "marriage"...) by a giant US firm. We played a lot of bingo in meetings, with things "across the pond", "kicking for touch" and "putting a pin in, to circle back", though I hadn't heard the term 'word wank bingo' before, it is delightful and apt. My flatmates and I also gave each other double barrelled surnames to fit in (Cronkly-Stinkleton, that sort of thing), that we still use today. Thank-you for bringing back all those memories!

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Love the surnames!

The two terms I hated were "let's touch base" and "when the rubber hits the road".

After twenty years of it I went back into teaching, looking forward to a jargon-free existence, only to find that education had embraced all that was horrible in corporate land.

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Maggie, like you I just love words and the joy they bring. Some of my favourites are either from my homeland of South Africa (hectic - enunciated clearly as two syllables) or my home of Australia (tool and muppet are favourites). This week we are in Hong Kong and taught a Chinese friend the saying - “she ripped him a new one!”

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Have you heard of the company ‘Total Tools’? I find the corporate branding on their huge work utes* very useful in identifying drivers who are likely to be total tools on the road :)

*for those outside Australia, utility vehicle/cab with a tray attached, shortened to Ute, or even known with affection as ‘the Uterus’.

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'the Uterus' ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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As an Aussie living in Ireland for 22 years I have enjoyed the richness of swearing that both cultures share. Irish people use “Fuck!” as a replacement adjective, noun, adverb and verb, which is only right as a nation of poets. Whereas Aussies tend to use the extended version “Farken” as a rich condiment to any sentence requiring an emphasis of emotion. I get to mix both. 😇

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Please can you share a Full Irish Fuck Sentence? I'm longing to hear it.

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Serbian is amazing when it comes to swearing as is Russian! Russian swearing is still pretty much sacral, there are 5 word roots, all centred around copulation, of course, and one can create an insane amount of words with these roots. The ones I use most often are “blyat’” which means a prostitute, but is used to punctuate one’s speech like a comma. And of course “y’ob tvoj’u ma’t” which is “I fucked your mother”, I’m

afraid.

For Serbian dupa we have a twin sister, zhopa! and govn’o for govnu.

Love love love swearing, when done properly, it adds so much colour and spice and fun to one’s speech! It’s a skill, of course, and I love polishing it.

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Serbian swearing escalates what you wrote by stages, to 'I desecrated your brother's uncle in his ear lobe' if you get my drift. It's the foulest, purest poetry.

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yup! Russian can do the same, it’s called “three-storey swearing”, but it’s veerry rarely used; Serbian, I believe, can allow this in a heated but regular row, no?

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Many thanks for 'govnu' and 'doopay' which I will work into a conversation with my daughter's partner. Now that I have a half-Serbian grandson who will grow up bilingual, I'm having to lift my vocab from the single Serbian swear word I learned in high school (won't repeat it here...).

'Ook'' (not even a real word, it was an old car numberplate) always reduces me and my very old friend Tanja into fits of giggles. The only other person who knows the meaning (my husband) will never crack, even though he has been begged for the meaning by both Tanja's and our kids. It involved the messy aftermath of Carols by Candlelight (Sydney Domain) many, many years ago. That's all I can say...

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Don't ever say this to him: Yedi govna. It means 'eat shit' and it's a verrrry serious insult!

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Morning laugh - perfect start to the day thanks Maggie.

I LOVE the word my cohort has always used to describe an attractive person: “fit”.

I adore “tool” and I like it when I get the opportunity to use my adopted homeland’s word “grouse”, as in “how was the party?”.

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I've never understood the Aussie usage of 'grouse'. I'm always seeing whisky bottles and men in tweed with guns... can you explain???

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I found an article that suggests the word “grouse” comes from the Irish noun “feabhas” meaning excellence, and pronounced “fyowss”. Another said the Scottish “crouse” means “merry and cheerful”. Seems to me like nobody really knows..

It’s such a wonderfully bogan word and I have 100% adopted it to describes anything awesome.

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I very much like the word c**t. It comes from the same root as Queen, and sums up the whole of what we have without being too coy, American or medical.

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Oooh what is that root? But how do you feel about it also being used for the absolute worst of men? I've always felt conflicted by that - whilst loving the absolute shocking naughtiness of it.

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I very much prefer that genitalia is not used as an insult. I would like to create new insults unrelated to body parts.

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“They’re playing funny buggers” used to greatly amuse a loud lovely New Yorker we had in our Melbourne office a few years ago - less polite than someone’s “messing you around” but can be used in slightly better company than saying they’re “giving you shit”. I like to use all 3 depending on circumstances. We have a rainbow here in Aus 🌈😃

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Bogan - Aus. In the 1980’s described appearance: sheepskin moccasins with skinny jeans, ‘flanny’ (flannelette tartan working shirt), windcheater, and mullet hair. Now less affectionate - annoying, unthinking, behaving badly ie littering, talking shit, smoking. A Cashed Up Bogan or CUB is the above, but better dressed and driving a very large Ute.

Yobbo - as above, but fond, a term for someone doing something stupid but harmless and funny.

In the driving game ‘Spotto’ our family gives one point for a yellow unbranded car, and ‘Yobbo’ kudos for enormous OTT Utes.

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Yobbo is more insulting in the UK - likely to be aggressive, vandals, football hooligans. I think bogan = the UK 'chav'. Not a term I use as it's a bit 'classist' in the UK context, which isn't the same in Aus... and there you go. Words. Fascinating!

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Ombré leather is one of my favourite scents!

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Did you read about the Macquarie Dictionary’s word of the year? Not an Australian coinage but with universal application.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2024/nov/26/enshittification-macquarie-dictionary-word-of-the-year-explained

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Hi folks, am uncertain if anyone will read this but what the hoo. Was ambling through the past blogs, hazily recalling a page or two of book recommendations, now that post-grad is finished am running straight towards fiction, and yes all the other things I've bene deprived of. But I digress. Can it be added to Ander-verse, a chortle-inspiring contribution via Joy FM here in Melbs when describing the aftermath of the hurricane in Florida - it was catastra-fuckry. Indeed.

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I will forever cherish Aussie slang.

'Doovywhacker' as in 'pass me the doovywhacker will ya mate' and a bit un-PC these days but 'poofteenth' , as in fraction of an inch , 'Missed the fucker by a poofteenth'

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