Two of the most dangerous words in the English language
Trust me, I used to be a fashion magazine editor
And those words are: ‘Must have.’
That is a phrase I never want to see again in a fashion context. And coming up close behind it are ‘most wanted’ and ‘on trend’.
All three of these phrases have become pretty meaningless with overuse, but at the same time they have gained incredible power.
They are all subconscious acquisitiveness triggers.
When we read them – at the top of an email, on a website, in a magazine, or a shop window – they stimulate some kind of automatic response in the lizard brain that immediately makes you alert to the idea that you might be missing out on something.
They make our brains perk up like meer cats. What? Where? How do I get some? Gimme gimme gimme.
It appalls me that British Vogue stoops so low as to use them (see above), but it even happens to me when they’re in the window of a shop where I would never buy anything, such as the one where I took some of these pictures, which is a fast-fashion plus-size boutique. It doesn’t matter, the trigger words still make me look.
I’m sure it was a very useful survival response back in the hunter gathering days, that would get you hot footing it over to the bush where your friend had just told you there were some must-have most-wanted on-trend berries.
Now the acquisition trigger is the last thing we need.
As often mentioned on here, we all need to buy next to zero new clothes if we want the planet to survive in a liveable form. Fast fashion is an appalling polluter.
Most of us already have wardrobes stuffed with clobber we don’t wear, as well as the multitude of choices we happily have to put on every day. There is literally nothing we ‘must have’.
But, of course, there is still stuff we will want.
Just yesterday I ordered a pair of gorgeous shoes I’m hoping will be comfortable enough to wear to an upcoming wedding.
As long as we exercise discipline and only give in to those urges occasionally, when justified, I think that’s fine, because it’s a different kind of acquisition urge, one you have come to on your own.
I went deliberately looking for fun glamorous shoes, to go with the £20 secondhand dress I’m wearing to the wedding.
I do have a heavenly pair of Prada gold stiletto sandals which once would have been my instant pick for this outfit, but they’re just too high now, for me to wear all afternoon and then dance in.
So these new shoes (which might be crippling, it’s still all undecided) were my own find. Nobody told me I must have them, they’re on trend and most wanted.
After looking on all the secondhand sites and finding nothing suitable, I sniffed them out after a long – and very enjoyable – Google search. A brand that’s completely new to me.
Not a ‘must have’, an I WANT which, in the context of an event as special as a wedding, I feel justified to buy.
If they do turn out to be walkable – as well as fabulous – I promise I’ll post a picture.
Meanwhile, a note on my Scottish odyssey:
I’ve had to accept reality. This is not a trip you can undertake in one week – or plan in a few days.
There is just so much there, there.
Long distances, made longer because of big mountains which you have drive round and up and down. Also, there are lots of lovely things to see and do along the way, which all takes time.
I want to go kayaking in a sea loch and possible see otters. It would be nice to stay at some of the places a couple of days at least.
So, while I did work out an itinerary that would get us to my goal on the very north coast of the mainland UK and back to the very south coast in seven days (in time for the aforementioned wedding), when I double checked the routes I realised we would be driving for five hours every day.
Not fun.
So, for once, I have controlled my need to DO IT NOW (if not sooner) and we’re going to do it next year – and I will spend the next few months relishing the planning of it.
The real hoot is when you arrive to do something super exciting in theory at somewhere you’ve planned , which is also the key thing that you’ve jigged other stuff around, and boy your planning was pretty off. You either could have bypassed it, or need 3 more days! And, the unplanned bit, of course, is always the highlight! Exciting, not knowing how it’s going to roll.
A dear friend always says that a truly marvellous holiday is broken into three enjoyable parts. The dreaming and planning, the actual having and then the warm remembrance. So take your time on the delicious planning portion!